Sunday, November 10, 2013

I already live the life of a traditonal housewife, soooo.....

Why not do a 50s housewife experiment? I think we need to lay out some game plans before we start. Here's what the "rules" were of the time and how they will be altered in my home:

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • - I already do this, but for the experiment I will stick to cooking from scratch and use very little, if any, prepared foods.

  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • - I don't know about putting a ribbon in my hair, but I will follow this one.

  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • - I assume they meant happy, or I'm sure there would've been some very happy men in the 50s!

  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • - Definitely something I need to stick to.

  • During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • - Already do this.

    *  Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
    - As our kids are teenagers they're usually doing their own thing anyway. However, I will make sure they're cleaned up and presentable, as well as make sure they keep the bickering down.

    Be happy to see him.
    - Always am, but I think I'll greet him with more than just 'hey'.

  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • - Didn't we cover this already?

  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  • - Ha! That's funny! Luckily for me, my husband is an extremely supportive person and has never subscribed to the whole caveman mentality!

  • Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  • - Yeah, yeah. Got it.

  • Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
  • - If he's out all night he better have a really good reason for it. Did women really look the other way when men came home in the middle of the night reeking of women's perfume?

  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.
  • - I'll just comment on these four as a whole. I got it. I'm the wife, he's the husband. Make him comfortable and happy, yada yada.

    Yes, that's really me.

    On to the daily aspects of my day to day life:

    - I WILL still use my vacuum cleaner. I have two dogs, a cat, a very large lizard, three kids, and I have a head full of very long hair. The vacuum is a necessity.

    - I will forgo my automatic coffee maker for my beautiful vintage percolator. (suddenly I feel tired.)

    - I WILL still use my washer and dryer. I have three teenagers, two of them boys. Clothes get dirty FAST here!

    - There is no way I can walk to the stores. I live in the country, so I couldn't get the shopping done in time to be home for the kids.

    - I will NOT be getting up before my husband to make him breakfast; husband gets up at 4:30 in the morning and I have issues with sleep as it is. However, I will set the coffee maker for him, have breakfast premade for him in the refrigerator, and I already make his lunch for him every day.

    - Now, I will be getting up a little earlier than I already do so I can make sure I'm cleaned up, dressed, hair and makeup done, and cook breakfast for my darling monkeys.

    - I don't own a dishwasher so I'll still be doing dishes by hand.

    - I will make a menu weekly and fight to stick to it.

    - I do plan on following the traditional wife's daily and weekly cleaning schedule, with the exception of spending an entire day on laundry, then ironing.

    - Facebook, Internet surfing, text messaging, and Iphone use will be limited to updating this experiment and blogging. If you want to talk to me you need to call me. If you email or text me you need to include a mailing address so I can respond by mail. My phone will stay on as I have a special needs child whom I need to make sure can reach me in case of an emergency, and my family live all over the place and will need to contact me. However, I will limit my use of the phone outside of the home to emergencies only. If I don't answer I'm not home. If it's an emergency call back or text me the problem.

    - No time suckers like television. I don't really watch tv with the exception of Sunday nights (The Walking Dead) and Wednesday nights (Revolution). I do tend to keep the tv on throughout the day for background noise, so I will stick to the radio/ipad and try to listen to as much 40s/50s music as possible. (My inventory isn't that large)

    - If the husband/family is watching television I will find other things to do such as darning socks, mending clothes, sewing, quilting, or other housework.

    - I will wear a dress or skirt as much as possible. I don't own an extensive wardrobe, so I will save the "cuter" outfits for errand running.

    - There is NO WAY IN HELL I will make the traditional meals of the 50s! Have you seen those gelatin molds?

    - I will attempt to host at least one get together with a friend or a small group of friends and play the good hostess.

    That's all I can think of for the moment. I haven't quite decided exactly how long I'll attempt this experiment, as I just never know what the universe will throw my way. I can't see this changing my life all that much as I already stay home, clean, and cook all day long. lol But, the distractions of the Internet and Facebook have always been something that gets in the way. Yeah, I know it's totally up to me to walk away from these things, but COME ON! Anyone who plays on the computer knows how addictive it can be!

    So there it is. I'm HOPING to start tomorrow, although I haven't really done much preparation. Hey, the day is young. I can still get things going for husband's breakfast and lunch as well as getting my clothing for the week. Tomorrow I will post my weekly and monthly schedules, as well as photographic proof of my appearance of the day (even if it was major fail). Feel free to join me in this quest.