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Friday, July 25, 2014
Friday, July 4, 2014
Taking back society, one kitchen table at a time.
About eight or so years ago I took the kids on vacation to this quaint little place called Fox Springs Lodge. Every meal was served in the dining room, and the owners of the place, as well as their children, joined us every day. During one of our little get-togethers the owner said something that stuck with me to this day: Eat dinner as a family.
That sounds so simple, doesn't it? Yeah, but think about this - when was the last time you set the table (or if your kids were old enough, you had them set it while you cooked) and sat at the table as a family, and actually talked?
My husband and I formed a habit at one point where I'd bring our plates into our family room and he and I would eat on the couch while the kids sat at the table. One night I made something that required everyone to make their own plate (tacos with ALL the fixings), so I set the table. My daughter walked into the room and said "Are we going to eat like a family tonight?" Talk about a blow to the gut. Since that day we eat almost every single meal at the table together. Don't get me wrong, there are times when we'll still eat separately, but that's usually because the kids eat before my husband gets home for work. Or, like last night, he gets home well after we've had dinner so he'll sit with us while he's eating his dinner.
Maybe you can't immediately put in your resignation to stay home with your kids (if that's even a possibility for you), but why not set a specific time when everyone HAS to be home, phones off, and sitting at the table. This is a great time to discuss the day, talk about something fun that happed at school/work/practice/ whatever. If you're really brave (I am not!) let the older kids help you cook. I personally don't like anyone in there when I'm cooking, but that's because I tend to get a little distracted and will walk around the kitchen with a butcher knife in my hand! lol
We can do this, guys and gals. We can bring back family life in this country, and we don't need the government, or the news, or some stupid Facebook meme to tell us to do it.
*I found this article about the benefits of family meal time. Give it a gander.*
That sounds so simple, doesn't it? Yeah, but think about this - when was the last time you set the table (or if your kids were old enough, you had them set it while you cooked) and sat at the table as a family, and actually talked?
My husband and I formed a habit at one point where I'd bring our plates into our family room and he and I would eat on the couch while the kids sat at the table. One night I made something that required everyone to make their own plate (tacos with ALL the fixings), so I set the table. My daughter walked into the room and said "Are we going to eat like a family tonight?" Talk about a blow to the gut. Since that day we eat almost every single meal at the table together. Don't get me wrong, there are times when we'll still eat separately, but that's usually because the kids eat before my husband gets home for work. Or, like last night, he gets home well after we've had dinner so he'll sit with us while he's eating his dinner.
Maybe you can't immediately put in your resignation to stay home with your kids (if that's even a possibility for you), but why not set a specific time when everyone HAS to be home, phones off, and sitting at the table. This is a great time to discuss the day, talk about something fun that happed at school/work/practice/ whatever. If you're really brave (I am not!) let the older kids help you cook. I personally don't like anyone in there when I'm cooking, but that's because I tend to get a little distracted and will walk around the kitchen with a butcher knife in my hand! lol
We can do this, guys and gals. We can bring back family life in this country, and we don't need the government, or the news, or some stupid Facebook meme to tell us to do it.
*I found this article about the benefits of family meal time. Give it a gander.*
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
I'll tell you why society is falling!
Over and over we hear about kids killing kids, kids stabbing kids to honor some computer game character, kids killing PERIOD! And over and over again the same questions are asked: what went wrong? What happened? Or the ever repeated "ban guns", "it's because of violent video games/movies/TV/insert excuse here".
Do you want to know what's wrong? I can tell you right now, but I don't know if you'll believe me, or if you'll decide to take the right step or not.
YOU! You are what went wrong. Society, as a whole, is what is wrong with our kids, with the younger generation, with the future of our country and the world. Mothers (or fathers) no longer stay home to raise and guide their kids. We are told we can "have it all" and we should rush out to have our own lives and careers even if we are a mother. You know, you're right, you absolutely have that choice. BUT, since when is leaving our kids to be raised by strangers, technology, or left to their own devices, and then coming home from a long day of work to cook and clean and be completely disrespected by a kid who's never been taught otherwise considered "having it all"?
I knew at a young age that the moment I became a mother my life would change. I knew then that the moment a child came into my life it was no longer all about me. We choose to bring these kids into the world (or in my case, adopt them into our lives), so shouldn't we be determined to raise them to the best they can be? Isn't it unfair to teach a child that it's okay to NOT try his/her hardest because you'll still get a trophy. Oh boy, not in the real world you won't.
Look, I'm not saying I want to go back to a time when women didn't have a choice as to whether they wanted to work or not. What I'm saying is can we go back to a time when families meant more than careers, television, partying, internet, <insert whatever here>? Can't we go back to a time when we actually SHAMED mothers or fathers for walking out on their families? Can't we go back to a time when it was more common to be married/committed for life before starting a family instead of glorifying things like teen pregnancy by creating television shows about it?
I am not, by any means, trying to discourage you, demean you, or belittle you. It's no secret that I was a single mother once, and my children were in childcare at that time. I had no choice, as so many others don't. BUT, the moment my husband and I were married we committed to raising our kids instead of letting someone else do it. We've made sacrifices, and I even clip coupons to ensure we can afford for me to be here to guide them, to be here when they walk through the door, to keep them safe.
Maybe it's time we all choose to put our families first. Because these kids will only be little for a short period of time. Won't that college degree/dream job/corporate ladder be there when they're in high school or college?
And men, if you don't want to be a daddy, use a freaking condom. We women need to ensure that the privilege of being with us is allowed only for the worthy males, for the strong, kind males, for the ones who, indeed, want to put you and your/his family before anything else.
Do you want to know what's wrong? I can tell you right now, but I don't know if you'll believe me, or if you'll decide to take the right step or not.
YOU! You are what went wrong. Society, as a whole, is what is wrong with our kids, with the younger generation, with the future of our country and the world. Mothers (or fathers) no longer stay home to raise and guide their kids. We are told we can "have it all" and we should rush out to have our own lives and careers even if we are a mother. You know, you're right, you absolutely have that choice. BUT, since when is leaving our kids to be raised by strangers, technology, or left to their own devices, and then coming home from a long day of work to cook and clean and be completely disrespected by a kid who's never been taught otherwise considered "having it all"?
I knew at a young age that the moment I became a mother my life would change. I knew then that the moment a child came into my life it was no longer all about me. We choose to bring these kids into the world (or in my case, adopt them into our lives), so shouldn't we be determined to raise them to the best they can be? Isn't it unfair to teach a child that it's okay to NOT try his/her hardest because you'll still get a trophy. Oh boy, not in the real world you won't.
Look, I'm not saying I want to go back to a time when women didn't have a choice as to whether they wanted to work or not. What I'm saying is can we go back to a time when families meant more than careers, television, partying, internet, <insert whatever here>? Can't we go back to a time when we actually SHAMED mothers or fathers for walking out on their families? Can't we go back to a time when it was more common to be married/committed for life before starting a family instead of glorifying things like teen pregnancy by creating television shows about it?
I am not, by any means, trying to discourage you, demean you, or belittle you. It's no secret that I was a single mother once, and my children were in childcare at that time. I had no choice, as so many others don't. BUT, the moment my husband and I were married we committed to raising our kids instead of letting someone else do it. We've made sacrifices, and I even clip coupons to ensure we can afford for me to be here to guide them, to be here when they walk through the door, to keep them safe.
Maybe it's time we all choose to put our families first. Because these kids will only be little for a short period of time. Won't that college degree/dream job/corporate ladder be there when they're in high school or college?
And men, if you don't want to be a daddy, use a freaking condom. We women need to ensure that the privilege of being with us is allowed only for the worthy males, for the strong, kind males, for the ones who, indeed, want to put you and your/his family before anything else.
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