My Day to Day Schedule

Okay, now that I've posted my cleaning schedule, let's talk about my work schedule. As I said a couple days ago, I'm a writer. Which means, I work from home. Also, I'm recording my books on audio, so I can only do that when everyone is at work or school.

After stressing about never being able to get things done, I decided to make myself a day to day schedule. Now, don't get me wrong - I don't always stick to this one hundred percent. There are days when my mom calls and we head out for some thrift store shopping and breakfast. Or maybe there are unexpected errands that fall on my lap. But, barring unforeseen activities, I've tried really hard to stick to this to ensure there's enough time for everything.

Of course, this schedule won't work for everyone. Maybe you have toddlers that take naps at a certain time. Maybe you work outside the home. Maybe your spouse works from home or you homeschool your little ones. Whatever the case, make a schedule that works for you and stick to it. I've had to, on occasion, set an alarm on my phone to ensure I don't get distracted with one project.

This is the schedule I made on Photoshop and printed out. It's currently hanging in my Cave. (My little space where I work).

It's a little hard to see, but here are the time blocks:

8-9-:30 Walk, Breakfast, and Shower. In this allotted time, I try to walk no less than twenty to thirty minutes. This is also the time I make sure I look somewhat presentable. lol I'm trying to wear makeup daily, but anyone who lives in a colder climate knows how dry it is right now. Between my skin refusing to keep any form of foundation on, and my eyes constantly watering (along with my nose), I've had to adapt my makeup accordingly. (No liquid liner most days)

9:30-10:30 Daily cleaning chore (this goes along with Thursday's cleaning schedule)

10:30-Noon Marketing, Promotion, Emails. Okay, this was is a hard one to stick by because I get messages and calls throughout the day and end up having to run back to my laptop. I'm trying to break myself of it and stick to this time slot, but anyone who works for themselves knows how hard it is to get your name out there.

Noon-12:30 Lunch. Again, hard to stick by because I tend to forget to eat. I'd love to say it's a writer's curse, but I think it's a woman thing!

12:30-3:30 Writing Time! At this chunk, I force myself to sit at my laptop. I might not be able to punch out 3k words, but as long as I'm doing something related to my books, I feel like I've accomplished something. Even if it's editing or plotting.

3:30-5 General Housework. At this point, my daughter has come home from school. I use this time to pick up the house, vacuum, dust, etc. for any rooms not assigned for this day. The deep cleans are saved for their specific day, but daily cleaning is how I keep up on the tornado...I mean, family.

5-7 Dinner and Cleanup. This is prep, cooking, and cleanup for dinner. We sit down at the table every single night for dinner. And since we don't have a dishwasher, all dishes are washed by hand. On the weekends, however, I make the kids take turns doing them to give me a break.

7-Bedtime Family Time!!! This is when we watch TV, movies, talk, etc. It's also shower time for the daughter. Again, I try really hard not to work during this time, but since my husband sometimes works odd shifts, my daughter is on the basketball team and goes to church on Sunday nights, sometimes I'm home alone and use the time to work a little more.

10:30 Bedtime We can all have a good laugh at this one. Okay, sometimes I'm in bed by 10, but I rarely go to sleep before around 11:30. Between reading in bed and mild insomnia, I don't sleep well. Although, I've recently begun taking melatonin and I think it's actually working. I feel like I'm falling asleep sooner and staying asleep longer.

So, there's my daily schedule. Like I said before, this schedule won't work for everyone, but you can adapt it to your lifestyle. It definitely eliminates stress of feeling like there's too much to do and not enough day to do it in.

The Death of My Daddy

The information I'd originally given was vague, and for many reasons. At first, we were working with limited information. On June 1, 2016 at around 9am I received a phone call from my step mom that there had been an accident in Kentucky and my daddy was dead. I kept screaming "you're lying. No he's not. I just talked to him three days ago. You're f*cking lying." And then I began to hyperventilate and collapsed on the kitchen floor. My first call was to my husband who rushed home from work. Then my mom, who called first my little sister, then my big brother on three way to break the news.

The only thing I could find online was a tractor trailer driver fell asleep at the wheel, hit a tree, and the truck caught on fire. Imagine the images that floated through my mind. But we knew better. My daddy didn't fall asleep behind the wheel. He'd been in a truck since he was 18, driving since he was 21. He knew when to pull over, when to sleep, when to rest. We knew he'd had his third heart attack and died behind the wheel.

And then more information began to come out:

This was found on Twitter. Later, they would post a story containing my daddy's name, Jack Howard, Jr, as well as the name of the passenger.

But, we still had to drive the five hours to Kentucky to see my daddy's body before he was cremated because there would be no funeral (per his wishes). My sister, brother, and I made the drive to Louisville, KY. My brother had to hold me up when we walked into the hallway to see that my worst fears had been confirmed. I had tried so hard to convince myself that it wasn't my daddy, just a mere case of mistaken identity.

We've finally learned the full details of that day. I've talked to the passenger, who is thankfully going to be okay in about six months. He'd been sleeping and felt the bump strip along the side of the road. He looked up to find my daddy slumped over the wheel. He jumped up to grab the wheel, but was too late. The semi crashed into a tree, the limbs going through the windshield. The passenger was unable to get out of his door or climb over my daddy, so he climbed through the broken windshield, rolled off the hood, and ran to the road in nothing but shorts and socks to try to get help. He said dozens of cars drove past before finally a truck driver and a pastor stopped. The truck at this point was smoking. They were able to pull my daddy from the truck, but he was already gone. The coroner confirmed that he was gone before the truck hit the tree. It was a massive heart attack. His third.

There are details I don't wish to share, mainly because I can't bring myself to type them, but I will share a few pictures. I do warn you, though, a couple may be disturbing.

My brother in law built this cross, my husband painted it, my sister and I attached the flowers, and my brother nailed it into the ground. This is something I feared would someday happen as I begged him to come off the road, even offering to let him live with us. But the stubborn ass refused to stop working.

The next few pics are of my daddy's truck. The first is what it looked like, and yes, that's a dead owl in the grill. He was always sending me strange pics and texts. He had a silly and strange sense of humor (gee, wonder where I get it):

When the truck began to smoke, they pulled my daddy at least five hundred feet away, so he wasn't inside the truck when this happened:

My brother, sister, and I dug through the dirt, the burned ground, the gas soaked mud in hopes of finding anything that we could connect to my daddy, something that he'd touched. I'm currently wearing a washer on a necklace that was part of the truck. I would give anything to have something that smelled like him, but the contents of the truck were burned.

We held a memorial for my daddy on June 12. My sister made a video for the memorial, a tribute to my daddy's life:

I still can't watch this video without bawling. I'm having a hard time believing he's gone. I keep telling myself he's just on the road, he just hasn't called back yet. But he won't. He'll never call back again. There will be no more silly text messages, no silly calls.

During this time, I felt more alone than I ever have. In the "older" days, people would gather around the bereaved, bring them food, etc. Instead, I received a few texts the day of, had two friends who checked on me regularly, but that was it. There were so many times I wanted to call someone and ask them to bring food, or even just vacuum the floor for me. I couldn't seem to make myself get up. My chest ached, my body felt full of lead. But I was too proud to reach out for help. When I needed my friends the most, there was no one there. If it weren't for my sister, brother, husband, mom, and best friend, I don't know if I could've made it through this with my sanity intact.

The next time someone close to you loses someone, don't offer condolences and remind them they can call you if they need you. Go to their house, show up with food, offer to straighten up, feed their pets, whatever. Send a cheap bouquet of flowers or a card to remind them they're not alone. I'll never again send a vague text, I'll never again tell someone to call me if they need me. I'm just going to show up at your house with a couple days worth of food and I might even wash your damn dishes!

I'll tell you why society is falling!

Over and over we hear about kids killing kids, kids stabbing kids to honor some computer game character, kids killing PERIOD! And over and over again the same questions are asked: what went wrong? What happened? Or the ever repeated "ban guns", "it's because of violent video games/movies/TV/insert excuse here".

Do you want to know what's wrong? I can tell you right now, but I don't know if you'll believe me, or if you'll decide to take the right step or not.

YOU! You are what went wrong. Society, as a whole, is what is wrong with our kids, with the younger generation, with the future of our country and the world. Mothers (or fathers) no longer stay home to raise and guide their kids. We are told we can "have it all" and we should rush out to have our own lives and careers even if we are a mother. You know, you're right, you absolutely have that choice. BUT, since when is leaving our kids to be raised by strangers, technology, or left to their own devices, and then coming home from a long day of work to cook and clean and be completely disrespected by a kid who's never been taught otherwise considered "having it all"?

I knew at a young age that the moment I became a mother my life would change. I knew then that the moment a child came into my life it was no longer all about me. We choose to bring these kids into the world (or in my case, adopt them into our lives), so shouldn't we be determined to raise them to the best they can be? Isn't it unfair to teach a child that it's okay to NOT try his/her hardest because you'll still get a trophy. Oh boy, not in the real world you won't.

Look, I'm not saying I want to go back to a time when women didn't have a choice as to whether they wanted to work or not. What I'm saying is can we go back to a time when families meant more than careers, television, partying, internet, <insert whatever here>? Can't we go back to a time when we actually SHAMED mothers or fathers for walking out on their families? Can't we go back to a time when it was more common to be married/committed for life before starting a family instead of glorifying things like teen pregnancy by creating television shows about it?

I am not, by any means, trying to discourage you, demean you, or belittle you. It's no secret that I was a single mother once, and my children were in childcare at that time. I had no choice, as so many others don't. BUT, the moment my husband and I were married we committed to raising our kids instead of letting someone else do it. We've made sacrifices, and I even clip coupons to ensure we can afford for me to be here to guide them, to be here when they walk through the door, to keep them safe.

Maybe it's time we all choose to put our families first. Because these kids will only be little for a short period of time. Won't that college degree/dream job/corporate ladder be there when they're in high school or college?

And men, if you don't want to be a daddy, use a freaking condom. We women need to ensure that the privilege of being with us is allowed only for the worthy males, for the strong, kind males, for the ones who, indeed, want to put you and your/his family before anything else.

Thanksgiving, Family Traditions, and Black Friday....

When I was younger, even at 18, stores were closed on the holidays. Any year on Thanksgiving, when traveling to a relative's house, there would be hardly any cars on the road, and shopping centers resembled ghost towns. It was a serene feeling. There was that part of my brain - the part that romanticizes - that pictured every family circled around their tables, laughing and talking over turkey and gravy.

Fast forward to November 29, 2013. This year more and more stores stayed open on Thanksgiving (my mom worked yesterday and wasn't able to join us), and the yearly Black Friday sale moved from 6am on Friday (as it was when I was young) to as early as 6pm last night. I got curious; the kids and I hopped into the minivan and drove to the local Walmart and a local shopping center. It. Was. RIDICULOUS! There was a heavy police presence at Walmart, and people were parking in nearby parking lots because there was no more space. At the shopping center people were lined up in the cold out side of Target.

Today, I've viewed dozens of videos of the brew haha that is Black Friday. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! People were fist fighting, screaming at each other, trampling people to get to a sale. What happened to spending time with your family? Do these people not realize that if you encourage stores to stay open others will follow suit and we'll ALL eventually be working on the holidays? Hmmmm, I wonder how many of you just read that and thought "I didn't think of it that way." I am a stickler for tradition and believe that everyone (obviously first responders don't have the same choice) should be with their families, NOT out shopping for a discount. I mean, did any of those people who shoved others down and injured people (anyone remember the child who was trampled to death?) really need a new TV, an iPad, or whatever?

Can we, as a society, agree to respect traditions, holidays, and common courtesy? Okay, I'm into deals and bargains, but how about everyone realize these sales are NOT what they seem. How many times have you heard stories of people standing in the cold for hours only to find whatever it was they came for was no longer there? They only have a limited supply of these bargain deals! It's a ploy to get you into the store to spend more money when you would normally be hunkered down in front of the football game moaning in agony from an overstuffed belly!

Am I being old fashioned? Maybe I'm becoming that old curmudgeon! I don't know...either way, you'll never catch me shoving someone to the ground to save money on something I would never buy anyway!

Day 4 - What's that smell?

I actually took yesterday off from being Suzy Homemaker to get some writing and editing done. Funny enough, the only thing I kept from doing was blogging. HA! Apparently, I live as Suzy Homemaker every day anyway. I still made beds, hand washed dishes (I don't own a dishwasher), did three loads of laundry, picked up several messes, and as the headline indicates, picked up an accident from my darling puppy. *sigh* Just what every glamourous woman wants to do, pick up a pile of dog poo!

There's a blog by a Canadian woman named Jen, but never Jenn who not only did a 1950s housewife experiment, but actually made the food, walked to the shops, and donned a dress all day every day. Go read it and have a good laugh! Wait until you see some of the meals she made!! (She actually used cookbooks from the time period, and all I can say is EWWWW!) She committed to two weeks and actually followed through and had some great insights. Seriously....go read it....now.

As I sit here writing this I've decided I have a ghost in the house. It's either that or my lamp is possessed. The bulb in the lamp keeps flickering; when I get up to check it it turns back on. As soon as I sit back down...yep, flickers out. Anyone know a number to a good ghost buster...or somewhere to get a cheap lamp?

I digress. Today is officially the fifth day of my experiment and I've learned a lot about spending more time with my family. While I didn't originally tell the kids what was going on you can definitely see a change in all of us. The kids seem lighter, the husband seemed like he was able to relax more when he got home, and I realized this is something I need to do every day, not just for a week. My life has always revolved around my family, but now, instead of saying I'm too busy doing laundry/dishes/cleaning/insert chore here, I take the time to listen to my kids and husband. I mean I really stop, look them in the eye and listen to what they have to tell me. It has been wonderful!

I can't tell you if I lost weight by all my scrubbing as I don't and won't own a scale, but I definitely feel good both emotionally and physically (all except my knees). Even with financial stress I find I'm able to sit back and hand my worries to God and realize there are some things I can't control. You know the saying - Let go, and let God.

Here's my challenge to you: Stop what you're doing, slow down, and really listen to what your kids, husband, wife, whatever have to say. More than likely whatever it is that you're busying yourself with isn't nearly as important as what your kids are trying to tell you.

Day 3 - Total FLOP!

Today was not a 1950s success. Because we have those little things called bills I had to find a way to find some money. Like so many people in the country these days we're struggling financially. Our pay check (meaning, the husband's as I don't work outside the home) was cut in half by higher insurance premiums and higher taxes. Of course, at the same time, all our bills have gone up. We're not shoppers or spenders, and have lived on as tight of a budget as possible. Regardless, bills are late and Christmas is coming up.

Today, I spent hours posting things I'd made for a craft fair on Etsy and Craigslist, as well as posting some things we no longer use on Craigslist. I also spent hours looking for a job that would work around my very strange schedule. *sigh* Nothing. I'm disheartened to say the least.

In the meantime, I continue writing books and trying to get published. Writing has always been a passion of mine, and seeing my books in bookstores (both online and in brick and mortar) has always been a big dream!

I am a true believer in everything happens for a reason, and God puts us where we're supposed to be. Apparently, writing and taking care of my family is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Today has been emotionally difficult, but I'm going to put a smile on my face and go upstairs to make dinner for my beautiful kids and unbelievably supportive husband. Have a great night, y'all!

Yet another failure at being a vintage housewife!

It's now Sunday, New Years Eve Eve, 12:20pm and I'm still in my pajamas. No, I don't wear nighties, or anything like that, but they're still what I slept in. I have yet to brush my hair or even my teeth. (I know, ew gross!) I keep trying to tell myself it's okay because I'm packing away the Christmas decorations, and will be making several trips in and out of the garage to hoist the boxes into the attic, but we all know this is nothing more than an excuse to avoid doing anything with my appearance. Why are we, as a society, so against spending time on ourselves? What is so wrong with wanting to look nice, even if it's just for your own family?

I aimed to look like this everyday:

And instead, I've looked like this everyday:

Okay, maybe not quite...I don't have a mask on, nor am I carrying around chocolates (only because I don't have any.), but you get the point. Why is it so hard to convince myself it's perfectly fine to look nice while cleaning? It's not like I'm sweeping the chimney or something. Well, at least not today. There's really no cleaning I have to do that would destroy my clothing, even without an apron.

I'm contemplating posting pictures of myself every day as a way to keep myself accountable. But, being as I have no followers, I'm pretty sure I could get away with a lot since no one will see them. lol

I would love to know how the women who are pulled together every day keep themselves motivated. Is it something they had to work at, or a way they were raised? My mom used to never leave the house without lipstick, but I think I'm rubbing off on her. She's been known to go into public without a stitch of makeup quite often lately. Is that a sign of low self-esteem on both of our parts?