It's Time For Self Improvement!

I've never been one to subscribe to the New Year/New Me nonsense...but maybe it's not nonsense. Over the past couple of days I've been busy jotting down different goals for myself.

I've compiled the lists into three categories:

Business/Professional Goals - What I will do to grow my Damsel In Defense business
Personal Goals - Things I will do to improve my own life, health, mental, home life, etc
Writing Goals - My career as a writer has slowed down as of late due to health problems and good old fashioned life getting in the way. This will change this year.

I've seen others create dream boards, goal boards, etc.

I've seen some do actual posters, while others are using Pinterest or Tumbler for their boards. I really don't know if I can sum up all my goals on one piece of poster board, nor do I know where I'd post it without it being a total eyesore. lol Being as one of my major goals this year is to continue with the Great Purge of 2014 (guess it's now called the second great purge? Or maybe the Great Purge of 2015?) I really don't want to add more clutter to my home. The only place I truly allow any clutter on the walls is in my Cave - I write in here, do my crafting in here, and have all my goodies from Damsel In Defense in here so I definitely need the creative vibes I get from my The Walking Dead posters. lol

What I'm curious about is how do you keep track of your goals? Have you even listed your goals for 2015? I highly suggested having them written down somewhere, even if it's just a file on your laptop. You need to have something tangible to go back and refer to whenever you feel lost, or can't remember why the hell you work so hard every day.

After the New Year (probably on Friday) I'll share with you my goals for the coming year. They'll more than likely change and/or grow as time goes on. I mean, how vague is lose weight? Or how about get organized? lol Oh, and don't worry, I've been taking pictures of my projects before I get started and as I go along. See y'all next year!

The end is nigh!

Relax! I meant the end of the year. Yeah, I do think I'm funny. Anyway, the point of this post:

You can pretend all you want that you don't make them, but we all think about the changes we can make in each new year. Honestly, it'd be silly NOT to find ways to grow. Last year, I began the great purge of 2014...the purge is still going. Every single time I bring something new in, two things go out. If I come across something that I don't use, don't love, or have no sentimental tie to...gone. Slowly yet surely I'm minimizing all the clutter in our home.

So what do I plan on implementing this year? Actually, there are two major things I'm going to be working on (and of course work on losing the weight I gained during the holidays).

The first one is:

I have so many rooms that I haven't finished painting, so many projects laying around the house just begging to be finished!

The second one, and one so many people try every single year is:

This is something I've been pecking at for a while. It's hard to get organized, though, when you still have entirely too much junk in your home. In the meantime, I've come across this blog at Bits Of Everything. She has some fabulous downloadable printouts to help get your day organized. My problem is I try to finish one thing and then....

Just like so many THOUSANDS, TENS of thousands - okay, a majority of the population - I get distracted by so many things. Just today my husband and I were discussing why I don't work out at home. I would go into my room to change and make the bed. Of course, then I would notice the glass from the night before and would take it into the kitchen. In the kitchen is the breakfast dishes...so on and so forth. You get the point. You do it, too.

Earlier in the year I started using a housekeeping binder. The Retro Housewife has some awesome posts and videos on building your own cleaning schedule and homemaking binder. Once you get one aspect of your life organized, other things start to fall into place seamlessly.

I want to know what you're planning for the new year? Do you outwardly make New Year's Resolutions, or do you just know you'll be adding something new to help you grow as a person each year/month/whatever?

Why I still appreciate police officers!

Like everyone else I've been watching the news about the protests, the movement across the nation. I am actually FROM St. Louis so I'm more aware of the goings on than some of the other news outlets. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about the videos I've seen coming out of people shouting "what do we want? Dead Police. When do we want it? Now." I've seen videos of people spitting in police officers' faces, saying "F*ck the Police", etc. I have a great appreciation for police, although I'm fully aware not all police are the good guys, anymore than every doctor, teacher, preacher, nurse, mom, etc are good guys/gals. Here's a shortened version of my story:

We'll start at the age of 15. My mom was married to my step dad who wasn't exactly kind to us. On more than one occasion the police had to be called because he was beating up my mom, or brother, or whomever. I got into the habit of sleeping in my clothes because I was tired of being in my nightgown when the officers showed up. They were nice to us, they protected us.

Fast forward to the age of 22. I haven't made it a secret that I was in an abusive marriage to an alcoholic. There were many occasions where I feared he'd strangle me to death, or beat me to death. I had my fair share of injuries, although most were easily hidden beneath clothes or by wearing my hair down. He never seemed to beat me where anyone could see. The police always seemed to get there in time, and I eventually became friends with a few of them. They helped me find my strength to finally get a restraining order and leave him. Now, not everyone knows that the most dangerous time in an abused woman's life is the first two weeks after she leaves her abuser. The police who had been to my house so many times would make rounds down my street periodically, making sure he wasn't lurking around or showing up uninvited. These men and women truly saved my life in more ways than one.

Again, I totally get that there are bad cops out there. Seriously, I do. But it's not the profession that makes someone bad. There are bad people in every profession, every walk of life, every race, every sex. The same people calling for dead cops, the same people spitting, throwing things, and screaming f*ck the police would have no problem calling them to come save the day.

This post wasn't written to change anyone's minds, rather to explain why I will always support my local department, why at Christmas time the kids and I deliver cookies to them and the fire department. They aren't paid nearly enough for the dangers they encounter on a regular basis, and things are only going to become more dangerous as time goes on.

No Longer The Frumpy Housewife!

I've been absent for a while due to health issues and family matters, so I apologize for the silence. I've been trying to get my thoughts clear on the path of this blog; it seems to have taken a path of its own. While I try my damnedest to be entertaining, I know what I'm most passionate about is family, tradition, raising children to be contributors to our society instead of complete and total drains. Sooooo, now I have to decide how many of my posts will be heavy, how many will focus primarily on my 1950s housewife life, and how many will debut...me. I can't promise any tutorials, as I'm still learning so much myself. But I do promise to share and all helpful hints, tips, or blogs I find. So, without further ado I direct your attention to The Retro Housewife Life. If you haven't checked out her site yet make sure to head over there now...well, wait until after reading this blog first.

Her page was a huge reminder of how I want to treat my family. If I can look nice when I go into public, why not look nice for the people I love most? Why do I save the crazy messy hair, the lounge clothes for the person I most want to find me attractive? Nope. Not anymore. In fact, here's a shot of me today...

Yeah, it's a little close up but I took it for Facebook to prove I indeed did successfully apply false lashes. That was literally the first time I've ever tried to put on a full set and it wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. I had on nice clothes earlier, but had to work in the chicken coop when I got home; nothing says dry cleaner like chicken poop on your vintage skirt!

One of the major game changers for me was a song The Retro Housewife posted. 

Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your make-up, soon he will open the door,
Don’t think because there’s a ring on your finger, you needn’t try any more.
For wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment that he comes home to you.
I’m warning you,
Day after day, there are girls at the office and the men will always be men,
Don’t stand him up, with your hair still in curlers, you may not see him again.
Wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
He’s almost here, hey, little girl, better wear something pretty,
Something you wear to go to the city,
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music, time to get ready for love.
Time to get ready for love, yes it’s time to get ready for love,
It’s time to get ready for love…

Frank Sinatra , “Wives and Lovers” 1964

Here's Dionne Warwick's version. Love it!

While the idea seems antiquated to some, those of us dedicated to living our lives as close to the traditional 1950s housewife as possible get what he's trying to say. Do you enjoy your husband farting in front of you, scratching places you'd rather not see scratched, etc? Or would you rather he continue to make you feel special, like a lady, like he did when you were dating? THAT'S what I'm trying to say! We spent so much time looking good for him, trying to win him over, then one day we decided "We got him. We no longer need to try." Nope. Not me. Not anymore.

What about you? Have you made an effort to look good for your significant other every day when they get home? (even if you work outside the home, too) Do you appreciate when he/she makes an effort to make you feel special?

Day 1 - 1950s Housewife Experiment Take 2

This morning started out fairly well. I got up, showered, did my hair and makeup and proceeded to make coffee and breakfast. Promptly after breakfast I got to work. Now, while most housewives of that time generally cleaned about 3 hours (their homes were also smaller than ours) they cleaned every day. Since I've let some of my household chores slide a little this cleaning is taking me all damn day. Did I mention I have three teenagers home from school today and tomorrow?

While I originally started out cleaning the basement to some fabulous Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett records, that eventually ended when the first child decided they wanted to watch TV. Okay, cool. Whatever.  I just proceeded to clean, and finally moved upstairs. Have you ever heard the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think that title works perfectly for mothers. I seriously can not tell you how many times I cleaned the exact same mess, the exact same room, until I finally exploded. The oldest boy had the audacity to ask me why I was mad. I just glared at him, sweating rolling down my forehead, while he munched away on pizza and dropped crumbs all over the table I had just wiped down and the floor I had just swept.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. I broke my own rule at one point and popped onto Facebook to vent. Mothers who lived in that time assured me it was nothing new. However, my best friend's theory is that mothers were able to beat their kids back then. Either way, I can't see my grandma allowing my mom and uncles to constantly make a mess as she cleaned.

Now, on top of trying to be the perfect vintage housewife around three kids I'm also dealing with a now three-legged cat. She was originally a stray who appeared one day and refused to leave. I really didn't want twenty more barn cats so I had her spayed. Well, either some kind of a predator got a hold of her, or she got into the engine of a car and the car was started. Either way, this is Grace now.

*Grace the Wonder Cat has her own Facebook page if you'd like to keep up with her recovery.*

I don't know if you can tell by this pic but she has massive damage to her right hip and rear end, damage to the left side of her face, cuts along her back, and had her right front leg amputated. So, on top of dealing with my normal day to day life, and attempting to live life as close to the genuine 1950s housewife, I've had to play nurse to this little girl. In case you haven't guessed yet, she will now be an inside cat.

I've tried several times to download the pics I've taken through out the day, including pics of my homemade chicken and dumplings I made from my 1954 Betty Crocker's Good and Easy Cookbook.

Sorry for the horrible pic. Took it with my phone,

I had my doubts as not only was this my first attempt at making chicken and dumplings, but it was from an old cookbook. There were so few ingredients for the dumplings, yet they were delicious since they were boiled in the broth made from stewing the chicken.

Sorry I can't post a pic of the actual meal. Stupid laptop! When I figure out where I'm going wrong I'll post, I promise.

Now, on to the rest of the day...I'm freaking exhausted! I swear I'm limping and my back is so sore! The only time I sat today was to fold laundry. Other than that I was on the go non stop. Oh wait, that's not true. I had to sit while driving to find a police officer to unlock my daughter's handcuffs. Yes, you read that correctly. My darling daughter threw her key in a huff, and her brother didn't know that when he locked her wrists in those damn metal contraptions, We were able to get one wrist out with soapy water, but the other was way too tight.

So there's my first day in a nut shell. Not really a failure, but not exactly a success...not in my eyes anyway. My makeup is smeared, and my hair went crazy hours ago. Tomorrow I'm babysitting my nephews for a few hours so I'll just pretend I'm going to my bridge club or whatever they did with the other ladies back then.

Night, y'all. My poor booty needs rest!

1950s Housewife Experiment - Take 2

For those of you who have been following this blog for a while remember my first 1950s Housewife Experience. Well, guess what? I'm doing it again. This time you can find everything on my other blog, I'd Rather Be Blogging. I will be cross posting so nothing will be missed, and this blog will stay up as I plan on continuing with my housewife posts.

In the meantime, enjoy some fun, vintage commercials:

My Author website

Y'all can find my books, and any info about new releases or appearances on this site. And no, the books have nothing to do with being a housewife. lol




Home

Taking back society, one kitchen table at a time.

About eight or so years ago I took the kids on vacation to this quaint little place called Fox Springs Lodge. Every meal was served in the dining room, and the owners of the place, as well as their children, joined us every day. During one of our little get-togethers the owner said something that stuck with me to this day: Eat dinner as a family.

That sounds so simple, doesn't it? Yeah, but think about this - when was the last time you set the table (or if your kids were old enough, you had them set it while you cooked) and sat at the table as a family, and actually talked?


My husband and I formed a habit at one point where I'd bring our plates into our family room and he and I would eat on the couch while the kids sat at the table. One night I made something that required everyone to make their own plate (tacos with ALL the fixings), so I set the table. My daughter walked into the room and said "Are we going to eat like a family tonight?" Talk about a blow to the gut. Since that day we eat almost every single meal at the table together. Don't get me wrong, there are times when we'll still eat separately, but that's usually because the kids eat before my husband gets home for work. Or, like last night, he gets home well after we've had dinner so he'll sit with us while he's eating his dinner.


Maybe you can't immediately put in your resignation to stay home with your kids (if that's even a possibility for you), but why not set a specific time when everyone HAS to be home, phones off, and sitting at the table. This is a great time to discuss the day, talk about something fun that happed at school/work/practice/ whatever. If you're really brave (I am not!) let the older kids help you cook. I personally don't like anyone in there when I'm cooking, but that's because I tend to get a little distracted and will walk around the kitchen with a butcher knife in my hand! lol


We can do this, guys and gals. We can bring back family life in this country, and we don't need the government, or the news, or some stupid Facebook meme to tell us to do it.


*I found this article about the benefits of family meal time. Give it a gander.*

I'll tell you why society is falling!

Over and over we hear about kids killing kids, kids stabbing kids to honor some computer game character, kids killing PERIOD! And over and over again the same questions are asked: what went wrong? What happened? Or the ever repeated "ban guns", "it's because of violent video games/movies/TV/insert excuse here".

Do you want to know what's wrong? I can tell you right now, but I don't know if you'll believe me, or if you'll decide to take the right step or not.

YOU! You are what went wrong. Society, as a whole, is what is wrong with our kids, with the younger generation, with the future of our country and the world. Mothers (or fathers) no longer stay home to raise and guide their kids. We are told we can "have it all" and we should rush out to have our own lives and careers even if we are a mother. You know, you're right, you absolutely have that choice. BUT, since when is leaving our kids to be raised by strangers, technology, or left to their own devices, and then coming home from a long day of work to cook and clean and be completely disrespected by a kid who's never been taught otherwise considered "having it all"?

I knew at a young age that the moment I became a mother my life would change. I knew then that the moment a child came into my life it was no longer all about me. We choose to bring these kids into the world (or in my case, adopt them into our lives), so shouldn't we be determined to raise them to the best they can be? Isn't it unfair to teach a child that it's okay to NOT try his/her hardest because you'll still get a trophy. Oh boy, not in the real world you won't.

Look, I'm not saying I want to go back to a time when women didn't have a choice as to whether they wanted to work or not. What I'm saying is can we go back to a time when families meant more than careers, television, partying, internet, <insert whatever here>? Can't we go back to a time when we actually SHAMED mothers or fathers for walking out on their families? Can't we go back to a time when it was more common to be married/committed for life before starting a family instead of glorifying things like teen pregnancy by creating television shows about it?

I am not, by any means, trying to discourage you, demean you, or belittle you. It's no secret that I was a single mother once, and my children were in childcare at that time. I had no choice, as so many others don't. BUT, the moment my husband and I were married we committed to raising our kids instead of letting someone else do it. We've made sacrifices, and I even clip coupons to ensure we can afford for me to be here to guide them, to be here when they walk through the door, to keep them safe.

Maybe it's time we all choose to put our families first. Because these kids will only be little for a short period of time. Won't that college degree/dream job/corporate ladder be there when they're in high school or college?

And men, if you don't want to be a daddy, use a freaking condom. We women need to ensure that the privilege of being with us is allowed only for the worthy males, for the strong, kind males, for the ones who, indeed, want to put you and your/his family before anything else.

A Society Lacking Respect, Class, and Education...oh wait, that's the whole world!

This is going to be one of those posts that might just be all over the place. I'm angry and frustrated, which of course, tends to reflect in my writing.


The Supreme Court handed down their decision on Hobby Lobby. They agree that forcing them to provide something that is against their religion is unconstitutional. Oh, I can hear all of you wannabe feminists screaming at the computer now. Stop and listen!


Hobby Lobby is NOT refusing to pay for contraceptives. I repeat, they ARE NOT REFUSING TO PAY FOR CONTRACEPTIVES! What they refuse to pay for are the four drugs known as abortion pills. Some are saying this is a slap in the face of women. How? Since when is it anyone else's responsibility to pay for your personal choices? They're already paying for your birth control, so why should they have to pay for something that completely goes against their belief system? Would you sue a Halal because they refused to sell you pork? NO! It's against their religious beliefs. And guess what...food is your basic human necessity, not sex, not birth control pills, and definitely not a pill which causes your body to abort your baby. You have the right to buy it, but you do not have the right to force someone else to buy it for you.


I've heard over and over again from wannabe feminists "Stay out of my bedroom" or "Stay away from my ovaries". Guess what? When you demand I pay for your birth control you just invited me into your bedroom. So, now your business is my business.


Now, remember how I told you this was going to be all over the place????


A user on Twitter tweeted "Maybe all women should organize a safe-sex f*ck-in at every Hobby Lobby. In the glitter aisle. JUST A THOUGHT." Wait...what? Are you serious with this? Yeah, cuz no skeezy low-life males will not only volunteer, but stand by and watch! And how the hell does their religious beliefs have anything to do with your voyeuristic tendencies. And while we're on the subject, WHERE IS YOUR CLASS?


Ladies, this is not the kind of crap our foremothers fought for! They fought for us to be treated equally, to have the opportunity to not only get a proper education but to find a good job. Not once did Susan B Anthony or Elizabeth Cady Stanton demand someone else pay for our birth control. You want equal? Do you ever hear a man demand someone else pay for their condoms? Yeah, I know, some women take BC for medical reasons, but most do not. AND, with the exception of rape, how is an abortion pill a medical necessity?


And more with the rambling topics:


I am so sick and tired of seeing massive cleavage and butt cracks, then hear women complain about men staring at their breasts. Ladies, I'm a straight female and I can't help but get distracted when they're right there in my face. And as far as those butt cracks....98% of you do NOT have a butt fit for viewing by the public! And even the ones who are "thin" or "attractive"...I STILL don't want to see your butt, especially when I'm sitting down to eat! COVER YOURSELF!!!


"Women don't ask to be raped!" You're right, they don't. However, there are some extremely sick individuals in this world. When these depraved people are presented with an "easy target" (easy to eliminate clothing, dark alley, distracted with your head down and eyes on your phone) they are going to jump on that. They're sick. They are bad. And they won't stop raping and hurting women because a woman wore pasties over her nipples in public with "Still not asking for it" painted across her naked torso. Nope. All that did is give weirdoes fodder for their fantasies when they got home that day.


Yep, this post is SOOOO going to enrage some people, mainly women, but if you actually read it, then think about it, I HOPE you'll see why I'm so angry. Why I have such a hard time being on social media. Why I have such a hard time watching the news, reading news stories, and ESPECIALLY comments from anonymous people!

Can We Please Step Back In Time?

No, I don't mean to a time of complete inequality, but can we at least go back to a time when we dressed with modesty and self-respect. When our families meant more to us than our careers? When we, as housewives, were revered for our selfless lives?

Women dressed with class and respect!

Seriously, ladies! Can we stop with the freaking low rise pants now?

I've been a housewife for about six years now. Originally, I fought it, even starting a housekeeping company. I cleaned when the kids were in school, so I was still home when they got there. But I was neglecting my own home. Since I've - we've - made the decision for me to be a housewife/stay at home mom our family is happier. The house is clean and sanitary (we never get sick), clothes are always freshly washed, folded and put away, and there is a home-cooked meal on the table every night. Oh no, I don't just open a box of Hamburger Helper and mix in some browned ground beef. I mean FROM SCRATCH! I've even dabbled with making my own bread.

Why yes, I DID look that cute while making it! lol

I've always had a love of things vintage, but I'm beginning to wonder how much of that stems for a time long past, a time that made more sense. When I see news stories about kids stabbing each other to earn favor from some computer game character all I can think is "Where were the parents?". I know where my kids are all at times, and who they're with. Seriously. You tell me you're going to be over here, you better expect me to pop over there at any time. I've done it and they know I'll do it again. I'm teaching my kids accountability and responsibility. I even have them do this really strange thing when the weather's nice.... GO OUTSIDE! My kids look so much like I did at their ages - bruises, scrapes, and rashes from rolling down the grassy hills. We all play out there, they help me in the veggie garden, the boys climb trees. I've even had them bring me lizards they've found in the woods. (we love reptiles in this house)


All I'm asking is can we please put down the damn phones, look around, and realize where society is failing?

It has nothing to do with guns, nothing to do with music or video games; it has everything to do with parents being there for their kids and not worrying about popping them on their behind when they need it.


I do understand being a housewife isn't an option for everyone; I was a single mother once, too. BUT, do we really NEED a three thousand square foot home for three- four people to live in? Do we NEED the most expensive, best car out there? Do we NEED to take lavish vacations? NO!!!!


What we need to is raise kids who have respect, not just for others but for themselves. What we need is to teach our kids that life isn't always fair and your boss won't give you a trophy just because you showed up. What we need is to rethink what we list as our priorities. I, for one, would much rather leave behind well brought up kids, kids who know hard work is the only way to get anything, kids who know their mom valued being with them, raising them, and making sure they were happy and healthy over chasing the next promotion...that'll be my legacy. What will be yours?

Sesame Street, Move 360, and The First Lady...

Over the past few years I've been amazed at what I'm seeing on TV, hearing on the radio, and experiencing in every day life. I guess it's been more than a few years. First, about six years ago, I was a housekeeper and tended to work in some higher end neighborhoods, as well as middle income areas. During the summer I would drive through these neighborhoods and see these expensive basketball hoops in the driveways yet there wasn't a single child outside. My kids played outside every single day, whether it was riding their bikes, climbing trees, playing ball in the yard, or swimming in the creek. Where were all the kids?




Something called Move360 started coming on the commercials. There were athletes telling kids to go outside and play for 60 minutes a day. Since when do we have to tell kids to go play? Perhaps, we, as parents, need to remove or at least limit television and video game use. The First Lady, Michelle Obama, came out trying to get kids to move, eat better, and drink water. I'm still confused over why it is taking professional athletes and the President's wife to get kids playing. Stay with me, I have a point.




This morning on the news they announced that Sesame Street has had a small makeover. The puppets now talk about eating healthier foods like vegetables and fruits. They're trying to get kids to move. What happened to the Cookie Monster? I heard he was now the veggie monster. WHAT?




Okay, I'm coming to the point of this post. When did it become the responsibility of everyone BUT the parents to get kids to get off the couch and eat better? I buy snacks, I buy treats, but they're limited. I'll buy a huge bag of apples or oranges, but only one small bag of potato chips. If we're the ones doing the grocery shopping, why do we need to convince the kids to eat less junk food? Just buy less, or stop all together. Why do we need celebrities to get our kids to get up and move or go outside and play? We're the parents! Turn off the video game, computer, TVs, and take away the phones. Hell, if you have to go out with them. We adults could use some more exercise, too.




I have a problem with the way society is raising our kids. It's become everyone else's job but our own, and some are complacent to allow teachers, daycare workers, actors, singers, etc teach our kids values, morals, and life lessons. You're upset because Miley Cyrus is supposed to be a role model and twerked on TV? SHE IS NOT YOUR CHILD'S ROLE MODEL!!! YOU are! You are responsible for how your child is raised, for what they eat, how much exercise they get. Don't tell me you can't because you work. We all work in way or another. Once the kids are done with their homework take them outside and play tag, throw a ball, ride your bike with them. Believe it or not, they follow your lead mom and dad. They need YOU to direct them, NOT Grover, Miley Cyrus, or Michelle Obama!