Sitting at work today, I ran through my mind all the things I needed to do both when I got home tonight, and what needed to be done this weekend. You see, even though I'm officially back at work, I still shoulder a majority of the responsibilities at home. I have an adult daughter at home, but she's mentally challenged and can only help so much. She has a list of daily chores to be completed before I get home, but to be honest, I'm a bit of a control freak. I'd never tell her this, but the things are never done the way I'd do them.
I should probably hand over a few responsibilities to one of the other two family members of my house. There's the typical housework, home repairs, bills, yard work, errands, grocery shopping, meals, etc. But...that would mean I'd have to give up control.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I release the power? I don't want to be exhausted every day. I don't want to do everything in the few hours I have each evening and on the weekends. I think there's this part of me that wants one of them to just jump and do them without me asking. How wonderful it would be to not have to ask someone to keep their items picked up. How wonderful it would be to come home to a clean house. How wonderful to not have to ask the husband to make the bed when he's the last one up or for either of them to put their dishes in the dishwasher after a meal.
Honestly, though, I'm not sure I'd know how to act if the household duties were suddenly equally divided. Would I even be able to relinquish the control? Would I ever be satisfied with how someone else mopped or dusted or did laundry? Would I know how to act if I could spend a weekend doing nothing instead of catching up on a week's worth of laundry and more or less spring cleaning every Saturday and Sunday?
Even when I'm caught up with everything, I always find myself a project, write more on one of my books, something to keep myself busy. I'm not even sure I know how to relax.
How did you learn to just be instead of always filling your time with busy work? Were any of you ever able to hand over the reins after returning to work?
Until next time, have a wonderful day!
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